a time to think it thru

i am working na...so after 3 months of trying to look for a job i landed one and currently im in the office...just want to take a break for a while then i will get back to what ive been doing...a way for me to look back while listening to hale's kung wala ka over and over since this morning..actually when i got here i was in the mood for mymp but i heard this song and it describes what i feel so...

yesterday i emailed this someone..a past crush that for the last couple of weeks the feelings i had for him were resurfacing again..i just wanted to say hello and try to get info or something and i also said that he doesnt have to reply to that email if he doesnt want to..and i guess he doenst want to coz i saw that he was online yesterday and he didnt answer...i know deep inside i want him to reply just to start a casual, friendly thing with him...

and now our common friend confirmed that he has a gf already...although ive known about it since january it still hurts...i dont know who to tell about it that is why i decided to again create a blog...i was really high earlier because i was excited to see if he was going to answer my email...and then now..parang all of the energy was drained from me...actually parang i was going to cry pa nga kanina...parang not again ito na naman been there done that... then i asked myself kailan kaya...when will i meet that one person that is meant to be with me..? or am i going to meet him pa ba? does he exists?

it is like he exists but only in my dreams, daydreams and dream dreams....

in fairness he is really mabait ( i dont want to translate it in english coz it is different when i say it in tagalog)..thoguhtfull...did u know that when we were still dorm mates he cooked us soup, then he picked my hand and told me it was soft, then also told me that i have a beautiful voice, then when we were in the balcony of the dorm and 2 of my friends locked the door ( so we can have a privacy so they said) he said that they were just envy of us...i had a different crush back then which was the reason why my so called feelings(crush) for him was short lived....but now it came back but just for imagination coz it cant go any further than that....

HAY BUHAY...i have a lot of crushes....JUST crushes...