what if i will be single forever?!!!...

last monday while waiting in line for the bus to arrive i had a thought...what if??? earlier that evening, i had a dinner with kring and we were chatting and the topic about guys came up...she said that the only guy she knows that are very honest and loyal with his girlfriend was dennis...and i was like aok dennis...
i remembered how dennis treated us when we were in our dorm..he was sweet in a way...well he told me i had a great voice one time when we were jamming...he also told me that i have a soft or beautiful hands and he actually touched my hands...and then he also made us a soup when lora was not yet around and kring was hungry and he also made a point that i finish my soup or else he will do something to me which in the end he never did...then there was this one time when i was in the veranda of our dorm then he went there to see the view and my friends locked us out he told them that they are just jealous of us...so that was a kilig factor specially because i had a crush with him..then i think that was january when that feeling came back to me...and i found out that he already has a girlfriend i even send him an email saying hi and he never replied...but thats ok i moved on besides it was only a crush...

So...what if the guy for me died already..or that our destiny is not to be together although we are meant to be....what if there is really no guy for me...what if ill never meet him and ill grow old and alone...if that is the situation then its ok and i pray for strength from God so i wont have a hard time accepting it..besides i could spend time with my ate or kuya's family and spoil their kids and buy condominiums or vacation houses...i could also go on trips around the world...i could shop and shop till i drop and not worry about the cost coz i dont have a responsibility, a family that i have to go home to...i could buy things and do things and i dont have to worry about a thing...that would be allright with me if ever it is really what is meant to be for me...
my mom said in one of our chats that she will not allow me not to have a boyfriend..but that is not up to her because if it is God's will for me to be single then that is what will happen...
but if ever i will meet that man i pray and wish that he will be the one for me...i think i cant stand the pain of loving someone and losing him...i have felt that before although they are not my boyfriend and just crushes..i felt the pain when i had to see them not seeing me...and i told myself over and over again that God let me feel those pains because He wants to protect me and make me stronger because when the time comes He gives the one for me i'll be ready...
i just pray that he will be a good guy..i dont care for his looks coz that is not important..i want him to be a family man, kind, loving and with sense of humor and knows how to work hard, romantic, strong...someone who i will feel protected and warmth...
WHAT IFS.........